Childbirth hasn’t always been nice to me. At all. I had big ideas and lovely plans for the births of all my children, which were interrupted by impatient OB/GYN’s, misshaped pelvises, and rational thoughts.

I haven’t touched on birth in a while, and when I first started blogging five years ago, my blog was 95% about childbirth. I really wanted to share my three experiences with everyone, how I got here and what has changed since the birth of my oldest son.

As I looked back last night over my early and extremist posts on my blog, I was reminded of a dark place which had engulfed my life in such a negative manner for years. In my quest to have the birth I wanted, I had become a complete asshole. (more…)

(Before I get started, I must warn readers this post may contain triggers. Please read with discretion, and if you choose to partake in a discussion, be mindful of the feelings and opinions of other readers.)

The term birth rape is rare, and it may sound extreme or inappropriate to some. Especially those who have not experienced an extreme violation during their childbirth experience.

By definition, birth rape is (a very accurate description from Amy at The F Word) :

A woman who is raped while giving birth does not experience the assault in a way that fits neatly within the typical definitions we hold true in civilized society. A penis is usually nowhere to be found in the story and the perpetrator may not even possess one. But fingers, hands, suction cups, forceps, needles and scissors… these are the tools of birth rape and they are wielded with as much force and as little consent as if a stranger grabbed a passer-by off the street and tied her up before having his way with her. Women are slapped, told to shut up, stop making noise and a nuisance of themselves, that they deserve this, that they shouldn’t have opened their legs nine months ago if they didn’t want to open them now. They are threatened, intimidated and bullied into submitting to procedures they do not need and interventions they do not want. Some are physically restrained from moving, their legs held open or their stomachs pushed on. (more…)

If you have been following me as a writer for years, you will know that when I first started to blog many of my posts were about childbirth. Natural childbirth, the rising number of c-sections, and really anything that went along with birth.

In the past I worked as a doula, coached friends and family members through childbirth, and of course dove into any book on the topic I could find.

When I thought I was done having children I made the choice to become a Lamaze Teacher. I took the course, completed it and got my certificate and have been putting off sitting for the official exam. It was an unexpected pregnancy, a birth, work, life… everything that has put it on the back burner.

But the truth is… thinking about, blogging about, talking about natural childbirth or pregnancy and childbirth as a whole actually hurts. Like really emotionally hurts. (more…)

After my oldest son was born I became involved with a wonderful organization that helped me through some of my darkest hours of feeling broken and taken advantage of the maternity care system in our country. I was heavily involved until I got pregnant with my daughter.

And to be honest – I was never planning a third child – EVER.

I had two negative experiences that scared me to death to have another child for a plethora of reasons. From undergoing a third surgical birth to suffering a deep postpartum depression again. I couldn’t put myself or my children through that again. It was bad enough living with the memory of my second delivery and the postpartum depression that stemmed from that — I just knew I couldn’t go through that once more.

Then I got pregnant with Addison. I was petrified. Not just because of my previous experiences but because I emotionally couldn’t deal with it. I was a hot mess for weeks even before I announced to the world that there was a bun cooking. I slowly pulled myself together and went where I thought I could get the most help. The group that had supported me through some of my darkest hours. (more…)

I feel like I haven’t done a really good birth post in a while and while I was bitching the other day about Mom wars and birth wars… this still pisses me off big time.

When I was pregnant with my third child, after having two prior c-sections, horrible experiences and in the end knowing there was no medical way I could birth any of my kids… I did so much research it wasn’t even funny.

I am sure a lot of my readers were sick of reading about VBA2C by the time I went into labor with my daughter.

A new study released this week shows that women with at least one prior c-section delivery typically choose the preferred delivery method of the provider they have chosen. (more…)

The other day I was clicking through my feed on Facebook and I saw an article on a celebrity gossip blog which broke down celebrities that had opted for beautiful natural home births and their comments on home birth. But when I got towards the end of the article there was a section on the celebrities who had c-sections, or scheduled c-sections.

Reading through the blog commentary there really was nothing positive at all about the celebrities that had c-sections. Most of it was judge-y, negative and clearly not as positive as the previous section about the celebrity home births.

Take the celebrity factor out of the equation, and you have the current birth wars we see virtually — EVERYWHERE. (more…)