My Fear for My Kindergartener
My oldest son heads to kindergarten in the first week of September. Which as a mother, brings me a whole new plethora of fear and anxiety. Especially considering for my first roughly eight years in public school I was picked on and bullied.
Yup, I was the little girl that was bullied by my classmates. Hell I still am bullied today, but that is just a whole other story in itself. If it wasn’t about my clothes from Bradlee’s, it was about my payless shoes. When the clothes were no longer an issue, it was my braces. When my braces weren’t an issue anymore it was the people I chose to hang around with. No matter what I couldn’t win until I somehow ended up hanging with the “cool” high school kids when I was in 8th grade.
From that point out everyone in school wanted to be my new BFF. Unfortunately for them, I remembered all the fucking mean ass comments they made over the years and did my best to politely tell them to take a long walk off of a short pier.
Now that my oldest son is entering the sometimes cruel world of public school, I worry about the same thing. While doing our back to school shopping, I find myself asking… “Are the other kids in his class going to think this outfit is “cool”?” or “Will he fit in with these shoes?”
Something that should be the least of my concerns, but they are what I worry about most because of my own past.
The reality of it all is, as parents we do our best to provide for our kids. I know my parents did when I was growing up. But corners were cut. It was the reality of being able to have my mother stay at home with me.
Will Carters, and Osh Kosh, and Target cut it for clothes? Will the kids make fun of him? I really hope not, because as someone with a past so rich in bullying, I don’t think it would be possible for me to keep my composure while dealing with it. Even though I know I can’t let my own feelings towards the assholes who bullies me come to the surface.
It is just so sad that as a society we still have just as much bullying today, as we did twenty-something years ago when I was in elementary school.
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Tags: anxiety, back to school, bullying, fear, kindergarten, starting school
I went to private school from 4th grade till 8th and we had uniforms and the kids still found ways to bully me. I even remember when my teacher made me tell everyone in class that my aunt had breast cancer… the kids found a new game of punching me in the boobs cause that would make me have it too. it was horrible. I hope that he sails thru and does not get picked on. I know that he will be one of the kids that will not be a bully either.
Hopefully the kids in his class stick together to just do the right thing!!!
I completely feel your fear. It was mine too. At times I can still cry about it. And like you when I got to middle school those same people wanted to be my friends. They were in public school just like me and they did not have the option like private school where their parents could not influence school officials to “like them more”. They were LOST and like you I remembered how they treated me and would avoid them like the plague…. Thankfully my high school years ROCKED.
School is the most dangerous place to send a child. Never, ever, ever worry about what others think. Buy clothing you like and he likes and teach your kid what I taught mine, that it does not matter what someone else thinks.
Oh D – despite how I turned out (pretty darn good) I was never the popular girl in school. I was gawky and awkward and never had the cool clothes. I was worried about my son and as it turns out he’s just the opposite. I have enough to give him the things he “needs” and he really doesn’t care about any of them. Looking at him in 4th grade I realize HE is the cool kid. It’s more about confidence and accepting who you are then what you look like.
Hugs!!
My kindergartner had an issue with a bully this past year, luckily most schools now have a “no tolerance policy”! Thank goodness!
Sending kids out into the world is terrifying, isn’t it?the best we can do it to teach our kids to love themselves and to keep the lines of communicate with them open.
I have the same fears about my little guys. My oldest starts preschool on Friday and it worries me. Kids can be so cruel.