A Lock, Toilet Paper, and the Four Year Old
Once you have a potty trained child, one thing that never fails is the fact that they will need to use EVERY public restroom they come in contact with. Hell, any within a 500 foot radius.
Last night we decided to take the kids to Friendly’s for a treat. It is a local chain restaurant who is really famous for their ice cream, which of course is everyone’s favorite part of the meal.
As we were getting ready to leave and head home, our oldest son chimed in about how he needed to pee. Whatever, like usual I trooped him to the women’s restroom and lead him into the bathroom stall.
I let him close the door behind him. Recently we have started to really stress “privacy” when we go to the bathroom. I don’t want him in the bathroom when we are going, and he is starting to feel the same about sharing the bathroom with either of us parental units.
Which is fine with me!
Until he locks me out. Which is exactly what he did. In the Friendly’s bathroom stall. Just before he chimed in with the comment “Mommy, I gotta do my big pee” which is his keyword for taking a crap.
So now, lets just go ahead and re-cap this thus far.
Public restroom…
Four year old locked into the stall…
Pooping…
DOESN’T WIPE HIS OWN ASS.
A couple minutes go by and he announces to everyone in a twelve mile radius that he is finished, and I tell him to unlock the door. Actually… the conversation went like this…
Me: “Camden, unlock the door”
Camden: “I can’t”
Me: “Camden, I can’t get in unless you unlock the door”
Camden: “You unlock it!”
Me: “Camden, I cannot unlock the door from out here.”
Camden: “Mommy, I am done”
Me: “Camden, I understand you are done, but in order for me to come in and wipe your butt, you have to unlock the door”
Camden: “I can’t”
This went on for a couple minutes before he figured out he could hop off the toilet and still reach the lock on the door without having to walk anywhere. He finally unlocked the door and I slipped into the stall to take care of business, and we could be on our way.
After hand washing, we met Daddy at the cash register. Ben and Addison went to the van with Will, and I stood in line with Camden waiting to pay and explaining why I am not some kind of magical character that can unlock doors in public places. Of course stressing the importance of never doing that again.
As we get to the door to leave he looks at me with a grin on his face and says…
“Mommy, there is something on your shoe”
Looking down, I have a piece of toilet paper hanging on to my shoe for dear life. I am sure it had been there since I make my way out of the bathroom. And I am also positive every last person in the establishment saw it.
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Tags: bathroom, children, door locks, humor, public bathrooms
If David is with me he gets to do boy bathroom duty. And he always complains about it. “The men’s restrooms are too nasty.”
ROFL I am sorry, but yes, I am laughing. That’s never happened to me but I am always afraid that it will!
This was rad. And well worth the 24 hour wait.
Oh man – I can’t help but laugh because I’m on the outside looking in but you must have wanted to scream (among other things!)
Ahh the joys of parenting. They never told us about this when we were growing up, did they? I don’t know why, but my wee ones are the exception that proves the rule about using every bathroom. Maybe it’s because I’m grossed out by too many bathrooms and ummm may have passed this awareness to them.